岐山大院　

白家田家彭家周家續家

彭媽媽賈懷貞蒙主恩召 (2008.8.10)
　

樹桂對彭媽媽的懷念 [中文翻譯]

2008 .8.22

Dear Chaoying and Zhaoming,

San Mao called and left no message other than that he called. It gave me that uneasy feeling, which I am getting more and more often these days. I shuddered at the thought that another one of ours might be leaving or have already left us.

San Mao soon forwarded by e-mail Peng Bo Bo and Peng Ma Ma's photos and other details of the funeral and memorial service for Peng Ma Ma. I gazed at the picture, yes, I remember her and her smiles well; but my memory tells me how inadequate a black-and-white photo is: Not captured in the photo is that radiating warmth that I always felt and took comfort in when I was near her, and that full, rich and cheerful voice of hers that I liked and that went so well with her character. Zhaoherng said best of Peng Ma Ma's personality: 熱呼呼的. That was how I felt as a child, still felt when I last saw her four years ago, and feeling now just thinking of her.

My age was right in the middle of you four brothers and sisters'. So when we were little, I could always have a fun time playing with any of you as long as one was available. No doubt I spent a great deal of time in your home: ping-pong and hacky-sack games with the sisters in the front yard or tumbling and horseplay with Zhaoherng and Zhaoming on the ta-ta-mi inside.

As a child, I knew, as long as I behaved, I was welcome to any of the homes in our close community of 7 or 8 families, but it was at your home that we were given the sort of freedom to play hard and make merry. There was never a time, in my memory, that I saw Peng Ma Ma frown at us for shouting and yelling at our lung's full; and I could only assume that she wanted us to be happy and that she loved us too much to care about her own headaches.

We were such a merry bunch and she adored us all.

Of course, there were also quiet times such as sitting in your front yard in the evening and listening to Peng Bo Bo retelling episodes from Outlaws of the Marsh. I remember well how he dramatized with his voice roaring and his arms waving the scene of Wu Song fighting the tiger.

Things changed when my younger brother became sick with leukemia and died later. My mother grieved for months after months and was quickly losing her health and the family was shrouded in sorrow. Peng Ma Ma and Lee Ma Ma became my mother's constant companions to comfort her during this dreadful time. By then, the fence separating your backyard from ours was long gotten ridden of, and Peng Ma Ma could easily walk over to see my mother or the other way around. Peng Ma Ma's optimism and warm character must have been a resource for my mother to draw strength from. I watched them going to the Lutheran church together and Peng Ma Ma helping my mother reading bible; gradually happiness returned to my family again. But little did I anticipate then that that would be the beginning of so many of us seeking salvation in Christian faith. Without someone like Peng Ma Ma living next door, nay, sharing a common yard, I can not imagine how long, if ever, it would have taken my mother to extricate herself from grief and to regain her hope in life.

That was nearly fifty years ago. In 2004, my father was dying and Peng Ma Ma and Zhaoming came down to visit him in the hospital. Afterwards, at dinner my mother asked Peng Ma Ma to lead us in saying the grace. It was another distressful time, and my mother turned to Peng Ma Ma for support as before. This might be a passing observation, but Peng Ma Ma has always been like a pillar of strength to me, her voice always cheerful and her laughter hearty. I will not forget the way she laughed, with her head tilted slightly backward - a laugh from her heart that was contagious and cheered up everyone around her.

After yours and the Lees moved to Taipei, I quickly found second home in both houses while attending college. I was frequently at Peng Ma Ma's dinner table as well as Lee Ma Ma's, and slept over many a time in your home after conversations with Zhaoherng stretched too far into the night. Why was I so privileged? I did not deserve such attention and love, and could only attribute such to my good fortune of growing up next to the two families.

I gaze at her photo with deep gratitude. After reading your message to San Mao in your calm words, I knew any condolence from me would serve no purpose. Yet, I would like you to know that Peng Ma Ma has always had a special place in my heart and, of course, Peng Bo Bo and Zhaoherng too.

Shu-gwei

昭英﹐昭明

三毛打來電話﹐留了名字﹐但沒有留別的話。我頓時感到不安﹐這是我這些日子越來越頻繁出現的一種感覺。我不禁戰慄。莫非又有親友即將或者已經離開我們﹖

不久三毛電郵轉給我彭伯伯彭媽媽的照片和有關彭媽媽追悼會和治喪事宜的資料。我凝視著照片。多麼熟悉的面孔和笑容啊。可是黑白的照片畢竟遠不能充分反映我記憶中的彭媽媽：我渴望照片能捕捉她那感染周遭的溫馨﹐我只要一到她身邊便能感受到她的溫暖﹐心靈得到撫慰。還有我特別喜愛的﹐她那厚實﹐充滿喜悅的﹐與她個性如出一轍的語音。昭恆曾經一針見血地描述了彭媽媽的性情﹕熱呼呼的。我小時候就這麼覺得﹐四年前我見到她時這麼覺得﹐直到現在每想到她始終這麼覺得。

我年齡介于你們兄弟姐妹四人中間﹐所以小時候我跟你們隨便哪一個都能玩到一塊兒。我的確常到你們家﹕跟你們姐妹在前院踢毽子﹐打乒乓﹐或者在屋裡跟昭恆昭明在榻榻米上打鬧。

小時候﹐我知道只要我不淘氣﹐我們左鄰右舍七八家都會歡迎我﹐但在你們家我可以無拘無束地﹐盡興地玩耍。在我記憶裡﹐從來沒看過彭媽媽對我們的肆無忌憚的喧鬧皺一下眉頭﹔我想唯一的解釋就是﹐她希望我們玩個痛快﹐她太愛我們了﹐所以也就顧不得自己的頭疼了。

她寶貝我們這一堆快樂寶貝。

當然﹐我們也有安靜的時刻。例如晚上坐在你們家前院﹐聽彭伯伯講述水滸傳的故事。我還清晰記得他手舞足蹈地比劃著﹐發出老虎的吼聲﹐繪聲繪色地說武松打虎。

後來﹐世事生變﹐我幼弟得了白血病過世。其後長時間裡﹐母親哀痛不已﹐健康急劇惡化﹐我們全家籠罩在傷痛中。在那段慘淡歲月裡﹐彭媽媽和李媽媽經常陪伴安慰我母親。那時﹐原本在你我家後院的隔籬早已拆除﹐彭媽媽隨時可以走到我家﹐我們也很方便地到你們家。彭媽媽的樂觀和熱情的個性給了我母親極大的精神力量和支撐。我看著她們結伴去信義會教堂﹐彭媽媽幫著我母親學習聖經﹔逐漸地﹐歡樂回到我們家中。但當時我萬萬沒想到這竟然開了風氣之先﹐這之後﹐我們之中會有這麼多人在基督信仰中尋找拯救。如果沒有彭媽媽這樣的隔壁鄰居﹐不﹐不止隔壁﹐其實還共一個後院﹐我無法想象我母親何年何月﹐甚至有沒有可能﹐從悲痛中走出﹐重新獲得生命的希望。

那已經是將近五十年前的往事了。 2004年﹐我父親生命垂危﹐彭媽媽和昭明南下到醫院探望他。之後﹐在晚餐上﹐我母親請彭媽媽領我們禱告。那是又一段傷痛的日子﹐我母親再次向彭媽媽尋求精神扶持。順便要指出的是﹐我一直覺得彭媽媽是堅強的砥柱﹐力量的泉源﹔她的聲音永遠充滿了歡樂﹐她的爽朗的笑聲發自內心。我不會忘記她大笑的時候將頭微仰-那發自肺腑的笑充滿感染力﹐使周圍每個人心情也隨之開朗。

你們家和李家搬到台北之後﹐我在上大學時﹐很快在兩家找到第二個家。我成為彭媽媽和李媽媽飯桌上的常客﹐並且經常在與昭恆徹夜長談後﹐在你們家過夜。我怎麼有這樣的幸運﹖這樣的關愛﹐我實在覺得受之有愧﹐我只能說﹐這是因為我有幸從童年時代就與這兩家為鄰吧。

我凝視著她的照片﹐心中充滿感激。讀了你給三毛的語氣平靜的信﹐我知道我的任何悼念之詞都是微不足道的。但我還是要告訴你們﹐彭媽媽﹐當然還有彭伯伯和昭恆﹐在我心中永遠有一個特殊的地位。

樹桂

[回頁首]　　